Dear Baby in my Uterus,
I love you. I do. But could you please, please be awake when I am awake? And not decide to have a party in there at 10:00 p.m. every night? Or, aim your kicks to a place where I am less likely to feel them. Say..the placenta!
Signed an exhausted mommy,
Anna
Dear Winter,
I love the first snow. But don't you think it's time to take a break? I would like to be able to go out without having to layer up my two children. Who by the way, hate coats.
Signed if I see another snow I may cry,
Anna
Dear Ben and Jerry,
You are evil.
Signed my hips love you,
Anna
Dear Person who says condoms are 99% effective.
You are wrong. That is all.
Signed a very much pregnant woman,
Anna
Dear Braxton Hicks,
Please, please, please cut it out. I don't like you, and neither does the baby in my uterus. In fact anytime you come around baby goes crazy. You're squishing my squishy. And for the record, you are not the painless contractions that What to Expect makes you out to be. In fact you're painful. And why must you visit me for hours on end? Go find someone else to bother.
Signed if I have to spend another day laying down I'm going to go crazy,
Anna
Dear Bladder,
I am thankful you are probably nowhere near your original spot. Because while many of the women around me complain of pregnancy causing you to feel full all the time, I rarely feel you. So I have to ask, where are you? Somewhere around my lungs? But I will ask you to please stop leaking when I sneeze. It's rather embarrassing when I have more accidents then my 22 month old.
Signed a little confused and somewhat damp,
Anna
2 comments:
ah ha ha ha!!! Those were great! Thanks for the laugh! And for the record, baby #3 was a condom baby, and I was breastfeeding to boot!
I see this post was a while ago. How are you feeling now? I really appreciate the kind words you left recently left on my blog. I left you some link love this morning. Come by if you have time. :)
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